About a week ago, my husband—a big fan of gardening, tools, and country life in general—asked our son (almost 11 years old) to hold some wood for him so he could cut it with the electric chainsaw. Our son—a huge fan of technology, programming, and spending hours indoors on his laptop in the cool, next to the fan (in other words, the complete opposite of his dad)—dragged himself over reluctantly, and at the first sound of the chainsaw, he ran back inside screaming that the chainsaw was too loud.
Frustration and annoyance on both sides: my husband is mad at me because we have such a wimpy son, and because of me he’s afraid of loud noises (during my pregnancy I used to mow the lawn with an electric mower—yeah, that’s how far my thinking went—and ever since he was little, the kid has been afraid of loud noises), I’m upset and indignant, and the child is nervous and agitated.
As we were sitting there talking and looking for solutions, about 15 minutes after the incident, the kid showed up—calm and open (he usually yells and gets worked up when he doesn’t like something)—and told us he’d come up with a solution. I was bursting with pride (may his mom bless him for what a big boy he is :)), and his dad listened carefully as he told us he was willing to help his dad cut wood with the chainsaw—but only if we got him a pair of earplugs.
They both start testing on an app how many decibels each tool in the house makes, discussing chainsaws, lawn mowers, and their own stuff...
Well, the next day we were heading into town anyway to pick up Mom from the bus station. We bought the earplugs, and by evening the boys got to work with the electric chainsaw. The kid learned right away how to handle the chainsaw; in about half an hour, they cleared out a few dozen rows for the tomato plants. The kid was super confident, and Dad was super proud. He called me over to film it.
Two days later, my husband woke up with swelling near his upper left canine tooth. Usually, his dental issues heal with swelling (edema—that is, a fluid-filled sac that protects the affected area during the healing process).
The left-handed husband—the left side corresponds to partners (I’ve written about laterality here and in other posts—if you open the blog in desktop view, you’ll find all the tags on the right). I ask him if anyone upset him at work, and he says no—that’s usually where his teeth-grinding conflicts come from (and occasionally from me :) . This time, he tells me he’s sure it’s because of the kid. Wow, after years of working with him, my husband is accepting NMG’s explanations. Great!
What exactly happened? My husband got angry at the child and wanted (figuratively speaking) to tear him apart (the canine tooth was affected—usually it’s the molars, but this time it was the canine), two days later, when he saw that the child was eager to work together, the conflict was resolved; the tooth entered the healing phase with moderate to mild pain because it wasn’t a very intense or prolonged conflict (I’d say the bone was affected, given that the area was surrounded by swelling), and within two days, there were no more issues.
It’s interesting to note that the affected area was on the left (the partner’s side for a left-hander), not the right (mother-child), which means that my husband is slowly beginning to see our little one as a partner, not just as a small child.
Wishing everyone good health, and please take care of yourselves,
Geo
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