
In 2023 I wrote very little. Knowing biological laws better and better, I often managed to anticipate and avoid conflicts in our family (i.e. imbalances) and then illness (i.e. the healing, balancing phase), I managed to stop the process before it started, I talked about our states and feelings in such a way that the conflict did not meet the 3 conditions:
- it surprises us when we least expect it
- it disturbs our peace and spiritual balance
- we have no one to share the emotions we experienced and the negative states we went through
Knowing all these details, I managed to avoid some conflicts and I discussed others a lot so that their effect was minimal.
I will still write to you about an older situation that has been haunting me for about 15 years, but which it seems that I have resolved in the last two weeks. Here's the story:
My husband worked for years in the technical field, servicing medical equipment in an area that covered the entire country. The number of devices kept increasing, the company stopped hiring new people because the bosses were afraid that they would not be able to properly monitor people in areas other than the one where the company was headquartered. It got to the point where the service teams were away 5-6 days a week. I had come to hate the words "Arad", "Oradea" and "Satu Mare" because I knew that I would be alone for a week. I would only see my husband sometimes on Sundays, it was unpleasant, but not catastrophic because I also worked a lot, I traveled for work. I missed him, I complained, but I kept going. We were both busy, we were making money and things were going well.
Everything until our son came and I woke up alone with a child who wouldn't let me sleep tied up for 2 hours a night, a dog that had to be taken out for a walk at 5 in the morning, piles of dirty diapers and no support. That was 10 years ago.
My husband changed jobs after about 4 months of searching, the new company was only in 6 counties, about 4 years were better, then things started to go downhill again... meaning I was alone again with everything on my head 2-3 days a week. This time a one hectare farm, animals, birds, electricity only from solar panels, living on the edge of the village among orchards, with wild boars roaming around our land, badgers and other animals. And yes... and whole nights just me, the child and the 5 dogs that were my base.
I kept discussing the problem for years until I got tired of the subject. No result because it is difficult to force a man who loves his job to take on an office job that he doesn't like and that he does reluctantly. On Monday, exactly 2 weeks ago, my husband announced that he was leaving again for about 2 days, I don't know where. The departure from home was on Monday evening and I was going to be alone again for about 3 nights. I got sad, I tried not to comment, but he saw my face and asked me not to get upset again. I explained to him that I can't pretend to be cheerful when I'm not and I told him again that I want him to stay home with me more, to have someone to rely on, to look for something online or who knows what else. Unfortunately, this is not an option for everyone and my husband is in the category of very stable people who don't make changes easily. Only when pushed very hard and slammed or threatened, which I didn't intend to do. At least not this time. I just got angry, we discussed the same story again, I tried not to show that I was bothered by him leaving again, I tried to remind myself that I had more time for myself, but it didn't work and I stayed angry for a few hours.
In the end, he decided not to leave that evening even though it would have been easier for him, but the next morning at 7, with a wake-up call at 6, harder for him. I really appreciated the decision, everything went well, I coped as usual because he doesn't leave me with much on my mind, it's just my bad mood after years of being alone. I always have everything I need at hand, he's a wonderful man, but I don't like being alone.
Wednesday evening, that is, 2 days later, I woke up in bed with a rather unpleasant pain in my back, near my shoulder blade, on the right side. Pain intensity 5 on a scale of 1 to 10. It bothered me when I breathed deeper or when I sat in certain positions. As if the muscle inside was blocked or stiff.
The second evening the same. I had nothing during the day, only at night when I went to bed. I started to process the problem. The right side for me who am right-handed is the partner's side, so I thought that the husband was most likely "guilty". Find information about laterality here, in the previous post. And the pain appeared in the evening because then the body stops from daily activities and "has time" and resources for balancing and healing.
I identified the area as the shoulder blade and the conflict related to the shoulder blade "I can't rely on anyone". It is not the only conflict related to the shoulder blade but this one suited me. The other conflicts related to the shoulder blade are: I can't hug or hold someone (maybe that suited me a little), I can't support someone, I couldn't take care of someone dear. All devaluation conflicts.
What does devaluation mean, you might ask? When you don't trust that you can do something. I'm not able to run well enough (devaluation conflict in the legs for an athlete), I'm not able to climb these stairs (a small child who then gets muscle fever in the legs), I'm not able to support all these problems that are pressing on me (devaluation in the back). More articles about devaluation here. Devaluation affects the muscles and, in deeper stages, the bones. Osteoporosis in the elderly is a form of devaluation, when they no longer feel able to do certain activities.
How does the biological mechanism work in the case of devaluation? In the active conflict phase, that is, when we feel a lack of confidence in ourselves or in that part of the body that we want to use, the body eliminates the part of that tissue that it considers weak, that is, the tissue thins, loses cells. In this phase we do not feel pain. After we have resolved our conflict, in the healing or balancing phase, the body repairs that tissue by adding new, stronger cells to help us better support the activity we wanted to perform. In this phase we feel pain because the nerve endings are being tested. The longer the conflict lasted, the more weak cells the body eliminated and the longer and more painful the healing/recovery phase will take. Does this make you think? Learn to shorten your conflicts if you do not want to suffer from pain for months. Do painkillers help? It helps when you can no longer stand the pain because strong and prolonged pain can lead to relapses, meaning the conflict is reactivated in that area. We feel pain so we have less and less trust in that muscle or bone, the devaluation occurs again, the tissue thins and we start over with the healing process.
And now coming back to me, how did I evolve? One week I felt moderate pain only at night. In the second week, the pain intensified. I would give it an 8 out of 10. My back hurt during the day too, I couldn't breathe properly with my right lung because I felt the muscle stiff and painful and every time I tried to sneeze I screamed in pain. At night I would put a folded blanket under my back to sleep in a more comfortable position. I had a hard time turning from one side to the other, in pain. I could only sleep decently on my back, a position in which the muscle was stretched.
After the second week, the pains were reduced to 3, then disappeared. In total, the entire healing process lasted approximately 16-17 days. The conflict, however, was longer, but I knew what I had, I waited patiently for it to pass, I monitored my condition daily without fear, without taking medication because it was bearable. Because I became aware of the cause, the healing took less time than the conflict.
If you have problems with back pain, pay attention to the area. There are different conflicts. Here are some general details: cervical/neck area - intellectual devaluation conflict (I feel bad, I felt below someone's level in a certain situation), chest area - I can't be the boss, I don't have enough authority, I can't be the boss in the house, lumbar area - my words are not taken into account, I talk in vain because no one listens to me, my words have no weight, sacral area - sexual or birth-related self-devaluation.
Good health everyone and I hope you found my post useful,
Geo